I have had a sort of love/hate relationship with coding and computers these past few months. Having spent these past few years trapped in a computer major, I eventually hit the point where my latent distrust of computers has changed to dislike for my situation. Between Operating Systems classes, dynamic coding, and mathematics I have come to the conclusion that perhaps computers just are not for me. Perhaps I should seek my fortune elsewhere.
Unfortunately, it just is not that easy. Most of the courses I have left are general education course, I am almost done with the courses in my major. I cannot really afford to change majors at this point. I need to just get my degree and get out in to the real world, bite the (digitally rendered) bullet and move on with my life.
Under such circumstances wasting time updating a personal website seems a little absurd. If I truly dislike computers so much, why am I on one know when I could be reading or writing or going for a walk? Well, I am trying to reach some sort of arrangement with the digital world. There was a time when computers were fun. Back when I did not have to be on them all the time, back when I could have a computer that was not bleeding edge and still get by in my classes. Back then, I could take an image or idea, turn it into a site, and have my only content be random rantings. Between writing, creating, and ranting, things were going pretty well. Somewhere along the line I lost sight of that, however.
Dynamic Content Delivery -- The bane of my small, self-centered world. Truly a wonder of this modern age, now I can spend hours of "elite" programming to come up with an automated system. I can make myself obscure. Better yet, hours spent creating a work of art are instead spent automating it. Somehow, Dynamic Content Delivery always seems to be the best choice. Why should I recode a page every time I want to say something new? Why not just have programming that takes care of it, and update at my ease? I think I miss going into the coding. I miss being a part of it. Some day, I will even automate this page. Because it is just the thing to do. Until then, I am going to hold it close and love it like a child loves a kitten.
Yes, a kitten. This page is an attempt to keep me sane. Having spent a year or two caught up in trendy web design circles, the ones where writing is not content, everything has to be standards compliant, where personal pages suck... well, I am ready to just do what makes me happy. And this page is what is currently making me happy. Think of it as therapy. Therapy for me that, for some creepy reason, you can view.
There are a few more things I should cover. While I always enjoy people e-mailing me, I could probably care less if you think this page sucks. I am well aware that I have no drawing talent. It makes me sad on some deep, spiritual level. I really enjoy pretending to draw, however, which is why I keep at it. I am also aware that my ability to write has greatly deteriorated over the years (along with my spelling and grammar). That said and done, however, welcome to my little world.
- kvn